Little Smock of Horrors

I have a bone to pick. The general feeling outside the corridors of the fashion world (that I tread with platformed foot on a daily basis) is that the latest trend for the smock shape in all its myriad forms – pinafores, tent dresses, square cropped blouses with gathers and bows – is one that should be roundly and loudly denounced as unsexy and suitable only for those in the final stages of preparation for the arrival of their bundle of joy. Now whilst this is a trend that is going to be around in various guises for another season or two to come, and although the shapes are changing for the better (apart from the acid trip that is the silver space look), I will not deny that it is hard to separate the sublime from the ridiculous. But if you have a secret attraction to channel your inner Ali McGraw or even (gasp, the original) Jackie O, you may yet be able to take it on and beat it at its own game.

Yes, this is a supremely tricky look. Up there with pussy bow ties and tube skirts. But I must confess to having a soft spot for the much maligned smock. I believe that by cutting out all the wrong options and carefully selecting the best aspects of this trend, in effect tapping into the original inspiration behind it and figuring out what it represents, you can avoid the pitfalls and come up with your own subtle nod to this most feminine and delightfully practical garment.

Firstly, let’s do away with the name itself, with its current connotations of the killing of bedroom passion. Fashion so often takes a word that applies to one specific look and then applies it, smorgasbord-like, to anything remotely resembling it, so that by the time it gets to the marketplace it has morphed into a blanket description for anything with a hem and a hole for your neck. So what is a smock in essence? A loose garment that goes over the top of other ones – tops, pants, dresses – ostensibly to protect them, but for our purposes to layer and streamline. And something that can flow and fold and flute and make a girl come over all, well, girly. Strong, but still girly. Artists in the 30s used them to keep the paint splatter off their Dietrich-inspired trouser pants and crisp white collared shirts, so how can this be a bad thing to give a little post modern nod to?

And now for some guidelines…

1. NO FUSS OR TRICKERY. Under NO circumstances are you to consider any the following unless you are under the age of 10, no matter how much they remind you of how cute you once looked at kindy or how young they make you feel;

• - ruffles
• - frills
• - pinafore styles with or without buttons on the straps
• - high necks
• - gathered or balloon-style hemlines

2. A DEFINED BUST. A scoop, v or otherwise low neckline draws the attention away from what lies beneath. A seam or some kind of definition under the bust before the rest of the garment continues floorwards is paramount. Or a fabric that will accentuate the bust area on its way down, like cotton knits or wool blends. This eliminates the effect of a big tent-like puff emerging straight from what then appears to be your neckline and thus avoiding creating the illusion of pregnancy.

3. LESS IS MORE. The amount of fabric that you have coming out from underneath the bust area is also crucial. Too much and you get the abovementioned disfigurement, too little and it defeats the purpose and becomes something else entirely. A fairly straight drop at the front in fabrics that drape (cotton voile, silk) or soft knits work a treat. And hint at your bottom beneath – skim, have it move and sway, but don’t make it voluminous. A-line is flattering to most figures and prevents a top-heavy effect as well.

4. BIG TOP, SMALL BOTTOM. The more volume you have on top the less you need on your bottom half. Slim-legged jeans or pants that either taper in at the hem or flare out with hippy abandon, or the supremely comfy and multi-purpose leggings are perfect. No bootcuts or general bagginess around the legs or the balance will be lost and your legs shortened.

5. HEIGHT, HEIGHT, HEIGHT. Now this can be achieved in a few ways. Actual heel height – wedges are perfect (the most fun in a shoe ever invented – and how deceptively high! A bit of platform and even though you are off the ground you are really only tilted as much as a kitten heel to alleviate lower back strain that comes from too flat shoes, without the soreness that you get from pavement pound. The main idea is chunkiness to ground the floatiness. But feelings are divided on this one and if you don’t like the look you don’t like the look. Other options are the physical shoe height – at this time of the year a knee high boot with a tunic finishing above the knee is comfortable and sexy in a no nonsense way and so good to layer up with. If you have long legs or are tall then you can wear a ballet flat with leggings (or a sandal in summer) without looking squat. Alternatively, a kitten heel gets you sitting up off the ground so that you are not drawing all the attention to the butt area when walking if you can’t go the fabulous wedge.

6. WHAT LIES BENEATH. With this type of garment you cannot do your layering over the top for the simple fact that you will look like a balloon, so your warmth and shaping has to come from underneath without being bulky. Skivvies, stretchy tank tops, fitted lightweight ¾ length or long sleeve tees are perfect. Wrap a woollen scarf around your neck and you have all the inner rock chick channelling going on that you could possibly need…

So it’s time to get out there and smock it to ‘em!!

Good styling to you…

Rubi

p.s. check out the links for Witchery and Country Road for some great smock shape do’s (and don’ts)…